Men Take Charge, Women Get Free Passes. (update: 26, 2010)

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With the most recent court ruling on Nadja Benaissa- a German Pop singer who found out she was HIV+ at 16, kept it to herself, and continued sleeping around for 12 more years – it makes me think about all the passes women get in Western society. Though the verdict is guilty, she only needs to do some community service and she’s scot free to go. Imagine had the perpetrator been a man, the sentence would most likely be harsher.

Most men are aware of this injustice meted out against their kind. Some are just more chivalrous than others: being a good sport, they let it go and give women a pass. That’s why the less chivalrous ones call it what it is: A p***** pass.

This asymmetry also makes me think the reason why so many women are against the notion of Stepford Wives is because they have been spoiled by the constant free passes to do and behave as they please, with zero accountability. I heard a story once, where two women in Colorado made up stories of assault on a man. After an entire summer of a community living in fear, and a life destroyed, they rescinded their accusations and said it was all made up. Again, no jail time, no fines, no consequences. So when we say, “we like giving our men extra special attention because they really deserve it for being so generous in giving us way!” women who have gotten their way all their lives feel it’s unnatural.

If anything, we feel that it’s because men keep giving us passes, that we should spoil them that much more. I still remember a car ride I took with some career ladies one evening. We were on our way to a charity dinner and I casually mentioned, “we tend to forget that men have their fragile areas, that they also need as much care, consideration, and attention as we do.”

I was met with a resounding “uh-uh! No way! What the $*%&$# is that all about?!!!”

We can’t change the fact that men continue to take on responsibility, relieving us to what we do best. But what we can change is our ability to make our marriages shine and work on making a good union a great one!

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