The StepfordWife.com’s The Perfect Wife In Public Cheat Sheet

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1950s

When a newly married wife moved into our neighborhood a few years ago, she confessed that it was an effort to do “the whole Stepford thing.” This woman – we’ll call her Rachel – was a wee bit absent-minded. But her heart was in the right place, so one of our girls decided to type something up, and print it on the size of a business card for her wallet. Yes, the print is extremely tiny, but that’s the whole point of a “cheat sheet” -something you can sneak a glance at to doublecheck whether you are doing the right thing. So we’re going to share that list with you, first on the post here, and at the bottom, one in a downloadable “plain text” format so that you can save and send to your cellphone as a text message/email, or another in a “adobe reader pdf” format that you can take to the local printer to print (on both sides) into a business card size.

We thought we covered all the bases. Except one thing. Rachel forgot where she left the cheat sheet whenever she left home!

The Stepford Wife “Perfect Wife” Cheat Sheet

Leaving Home (Alone) : Remember: Be Decorative and Appear Pleasing

  • 1. Modest makeup on properly.
  • 2. Hair is combed without a strand out of place.
  • 3. Modestly-styled clothing that matches shoes without any creases or makeup stains.
  • 4Check with husband to get his OK for your presentation (if not, go change).
  • _____________

    In Public (Alone)

  • 5. Turn cell phone or smart phone to silent. Never answer any calls except the ones from your husband. A lady is meant to be seen, not heard. Chattering on the phone makes one appear to be chit-chatting. When husband calls, answer and speak quietly and privately.
  • 6. Smile to everyone, look them in the eyes and smile when you say “Thank You” “I Beg Your Pardon” “I’m so sorry.”
  • 7. Walk upright, shoulders down, posture straight, neck stretched up.
  • 8. Use full versions of addressing everyone with courtesy (Ma’am, Miss, Sir (to older men), Mister (to younger men).
  • 9. Downcast eyes, don’t look at other men.
  • 10. Never use coarse language.
  • 11. Speak softly and not unnecessarily to male strangers.
  • 12. If you have an occasion to be helpless, use it and welcome the gesture when men try to help you. Just don’t get too friendly.
  • _____________

    In Public (With husband therefore “H” suffix) : Remember: Be Decorative and Appear Pleasing

  • 6H. Smile to your husband, look him in the eyes and smile when you say “Thank You” “I Beg Your Pardon” “I’m so sorry.”
  • 7H. Walk upright, shoulders down, posture straight, neck stretched up.
  • 8H. Yes Honey, Yes Darling, and Yes Dear” (to husband). Use full versions of addressing everyone with courtesy (Ma’am, Miss, Sir (to older men), Mister (to younger men).
  • 9H. Downcast eyes, don’t look at other men.
  • 10H. Never use coarse language.
  • 11H. If you are asked a question by a male stranger, look at your husband with an inquisitive look as to how you should answer, or better yet, let him answer the stranger. Never answer on your own.
  • 12H. If you have an occasion to be helpless, use it and welcome the gesture when your husband tries to help you. Never say “it’s okay, I can handle it.” ALWAYS accept and say graciously “thank you, I’m so glad you are here to take care of this.
  • 13H. If your husband reprimands you in public, never talk back and protest. Even if you are right, accept it with a smile, cringe sheepishly and whisper “Oh you are right, how can I be so stupid! I’m sorry dear.
  • 14H. If you meet friends in public and they suggest doing something, always look to your husband for the decision. If he says no, just thank them, apologize graciously and decline the invitation.
  • Adobe PDF printable business card (right click your mouse and select “save as”

    Plain text file (right click your mouse and select “save as”

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