Archive for the ‘Domestic Tranquility’ Category

WHR (Waist to Hip Ratio) The Stepford Rules of Attraction.

Wednesday, January 15th, 2014

We once saw a tv program that mentioned the ideal Waist to Hip Ratio for a woman that men would find attractive. According to the rules of the Stepford Wives Organization, we girls must do all we possibly can to fit into the exact specifications of what men desire and find attractive. We will provide all the hyperlinks at the end of this article so you can go play around with your measurements and numbers if you chose to.

For now, let’s focus on what that magic Waist-to-Hip Ratio entails.

That magic number is 6.7, according to an article in livescience.com.

So here is the chart of the perfect whr (not to be confused with waist-to-height ratio). Notice the inclusion of a 1959 Barbie doll as a comparison. Even though we know it’s next to impossible to get a Barbie figure, we know getting as close to it as possible is what men would want us to be. Also note the 36-24-36, considered the classic proportion for what is considered a beautiful body.

The Stepford Wives Organization Perfect Woman Measurements Waist-to-Hip Ratio

We didn’t go above 26 inches because that’s already getting into what our guys would consider “overweight.” So ladies and girls, it’s the New Year! Hit the gym, buy a corset, and cut down on the junk food (preferably all three…simultaneously!).

It’s time to get into shape for the pleasure of a man’s gaze!

source: LiveSciene online article about the ideal waist-to-hip ratio

Here is a nifty BMI calculator

And two interesting online 3D interactive models where you can enter your body measurements and get an idea of what it should look like: Optitex 3D Virtual Model and Body Visualizer.

Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson’s Advice on Marriage and the Good Wife

Saturday, January 4th, 2014

We don’t condone underage marriage, of course. At the same time, there was a time not so long ago where 15 wasn’t illegal. In fact, there are still many states in the U.S. (New Jersey, New Hampshire, Hawaii) where 15 yr old girls can marry with parental consent.

The controversial Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty is seen here giving playful advice. As we have said often on the Stepford Wives Organization website: men may joke around, but their desires and fears are hidden behind those jokes. Ignore the 15 yr old part, and listen to the rest of what he has to say about a good wife in the following clip. (transcript follows)

Make sure that she can cook a meal” and “make sure she carries her Bible. That’ll save you a lot of trouble down the road….and if she picks your ducks, now that’s a woman! They’re getting to where they are hard to find. Mainly because these boys are waiting till they get to be about twenty years old before they marry them. Look, you wait till they get to be twenty years old, the only picking that’s going to be taking place is your pocket. You gotta marry these girls when they’re about 15 or 16 to pick your ducks, you need to check with mom and dad of course.

source: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20771027,00.html

Little House on the Prairie and Father Knows Best

Thursday, November 14th, 2013

We squeal with delight when we watch old reruns of tv shows. That includes “Lil’ Hop” (Little House on the Prairie), Father Knows Best, Ozzie and Harriet and Leave It To Beaver. It’s a look back to gentler, simpler days when the man was the head of the household and us girls just stayed at home, set up house, and raise kids. We just watched a scene from Father Knows Best, where a protestant pastor played a central figure in providing a moral compass, imagine that! (Not the scene below, which has a misleading title, but take a look to get a feel for the show, if you have never seen it)

Stephanie Coontz first wrote a book called The Way We Really Are, then the following book The Way We Never Were, flip-flopping between the assertion that the 1950s conservative nuclear family was a reality and a later postmodern, revisionist reading of that arrangement as a manufactured existence. Whatever side you chose to be on, there existed an entire generation of women who were raised on 50’s sitcoms. We know elderly ladies who DO behave and talk like June Cleaver. They make sandwiches and glasses of milk for kids when they come through the door, affect a sunny disposition with clasped hands, and never seek to stomp other people out in a one-upMANship display of intellectual prowess during a dinner table discourse. They keep quiet, beam a radiant smile, and pass the butter.

Sadly, the overly feminist focus on the traditional family arrangement as an oppression of women a la Betty Friedan has removed the attention on the male figure. Yes, women were expected to attend to domestic duties and pleasing their husbands, but more importantly, men were expected to provide for the family, bring home the bacon, and rise to the responsibility of providing a compass to steer his family through tough times. If we wonder why father no longer knows best, and men today are take-no-charge, self-absorbed, metrosexual debutantes with cabinets full of hair products and well-maintained tattoos, it may have something to do with the “liberated” woman dropping the ball. We fought for many years to be able to bring home the bacon ourselves. And once men found they were dispensable and politically-corrected into obsolescence, they too, dropped the ball.

The dying tradition of the male head of the household and provided of the family is what we try to carry on at the Stepford Wives Organization. For new readers, the rest of our website is here StepfordWives.org and StepfordWife.com

Getting to Thin and Staying Thin

Saturday, July 27th, 2013

NPR has an article positing that fat people becoming fatter as a result of fat discrimination. Why that’s downright silly. We have heard obesity being blamed on anything from computer time to soda, moods, weather, and even the kitchen sink, but we’ve never heard of the blame being placed on bullies.

Fat comes from eating too much and eating recklessly. Getting fat, and staying fat, should be blamed squarely on the individual. Sorry, but the first step to getting things done is to take personal responsibility, and stop blaming the world.

We at the organization stay trim with religious devotion. Why? To please our husbands, what else!? Men like thin to very thin women, and our mission is to please.

That’s not to say there hasn’t been a battle of the bulge. Georgina is very slim these days, but she gotten there by getting a firm talking to from her husband Edwin. One could say he shamed and humiliated her into a diet. And it worked! There’s nothing like a strong man at Stepford telling us what to do, and we’ve been very pleased with the results. Georgina, even Blair would be utterly devastated with gaining so much as 1 to 1.5 lbs. Just the thought of disappointment in their husbands’ faces would send them screeching off to the gym, or a quick jog around the neighborhood.

So don’t believe a word you hear. An order from the head-of-the-household is the best antidote for the muffin top.

The Camera Is Your Best Tool for Cleaning House

Tuesday, July 2nd, 2013

Here is a test to see if your house is Stepford immaculate. Take a camera (or cell phone) and point it at yourself in any one of your rooms / kitchen / bedroom in your home. Now pucker up and snap an innocent “selfie” of yourself. Next, inspect the photo. What do you see?

Chances are, it’s not “picture perfect.” By that, we mean, it’s not Architectural Digest or Home and Living perfect. In other words, it didn’t pass “the Stepford Test.”

Ever since the camera was invented, writers had been fond of describing the camera as a disinterested, objective eye. And when it comes to housecleaning, what the camera sees is certainly no exception. Even something so little as a chair that is positioned a few inches to one side makes all the difference in Stepford perfection. If you see something that looks like an episode from Hoarders: Buried Alive, then it’s high time to pick up the duster and get to work. Chop chop!

Is The Stepford Wife the Secret to A Long Lasting Marriage (Emirates Woman Article Nov 2012)

Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Our organization – thanks to our Carolyn – got a request to write an article that was published in the Emirates Woman magazine in November 2012. It’s an interesting read because it counterpoints Carolyn’s viewpoint on the traditional wife with those of a professional career woman Bidisha, a broadcaster and writer who specializes in arts, culture, and social affairs, including gender, sexuality, and race. The referee, and compiler of the articles is Alexandria Gouveia.

This is what page 116 of the intro article looks like. Click on the photo to see a larger image of the picture.

Carolyn’s article precedes career woman Bidisha’s. If you want to read Carolyn’s complete article, click here to our page: Carolyn Snowden: The Relationship Debate

The following is Bidisha’s counterpoint article, which appears on page 120 following Carolyn’s:

“The surrendered wife deserves our sympathy,”says, Bidisha, broadcaster and writer specialising in the arts and culture and social affairs including gender, class, sexuality and race.

There is no person more boring, or bored, than a stay-at-home wife. I would recommend such a role only for women who have small brains, small hopes, small potential and small personalities. But I know no such women. What I do know is that 5,000 years of inequality, machismo, conditioning, intimidation and oppression have resulted in this strange, stunted creature – the surrendered wife – who finds some kind of sick nobility in grovelling to a man. The wretch believes that her highest virtue lies in giving the greatest attention to the smallest things: the dustpan, the oven, the crib, the sink – and the contents of her husband’s underpants.

The surrendered wife deserves our sympathy. Without realising it, she has been subjected to a deep cultural, social and political lobotomy, internalised the propaganda that says she is naturally destined for wife-work according to her innate capacities, and has emerged competent but wholly unrebellious. She is good at organising the home, judicious with her children’s upbringing, efficient about the family’s comings and goings, savagely chic when entertaining. But she is dependent for her survival – and that makes her submissive. If she doesn’t please her lord and master, she has nothing to fall back on. In order to survive, she must turn herself into a giver in the bedroom, a maid on the landing, a cook in the kitchen, a nanny in the nursery, a secretary at the desk, a housekeeper in the pantry and a hostess in the lounge. No matter what reflected status she may gain from her husband, at the core of it she herself is merely a geisha: there to serve. She exists to be exploited for her sexual, social and physical labour but, as a dependent subordinate with no power of her own, she can be bullied, hurt, disparaged or replaced whenever her owner chooses.

When a woman’s scope is reduced to the four walls of her home, her soul shrinks accordingly. Her frustration, boredom and bitterness are sublimated into obsession with petty surface details, extreme self-objectification, obsessive shopping and the bullying of staff. Because she is isolated, she doesn’t have the resources to fight the source of her oppression – that is, her husband and the entire macho ethos that keeps her in her place – and so she transfers her rage onto other women, satisfying her insecurity by making small-minded, insecure, sniping judgements. She begins to police other women’s behaviour, perhaps even her own daughters’ behaviour, punishing them if they do not conform. This is understandable and it’s what oppressed groups have always done. It is easier to lash out laterally than face the reality of oppression; easy to submit to misogynist ‘tradition’, hard to fight such entrenched views, especially when they are backed up by the threat of violence.

I believe women deserve much more than a life of service. That is not a life, it is merely an existence in which all of our resources are used up for others’ benefit. That said, the hardest and most profound free work we do – bringing up children, caring for elderly relatives, keeping communities together peacefully – should be acknowledged, honoured and credited instead of being assumed, expected, unpaid, undervalued and taken advantage of.

Instead of women judging each other, or themselves, they should judge men. We deserve to go into the world to fulfil our potential without being leered at, opposed, judged, sexually harassed, sexually assaulted, followed or abused. We deserve to be treated equally as minds and personalities, not as objects. A woman has a basic human right to be seen as a person in her own right, an individual, and not a man’s wife, someone’s daughter, someone’s mother, someone’s sister or someone’s neighbour, with all the labour and duties that entails. And when we come home unmolested from our studies, our work or visiting friends and family, we will do precisely half of the work required, and the man should do the other half. Since a man makes half a baby, he should do half the childcare. Since he makes half the dirt, he should do half the cleaning. And since he eats half the food, he should do half of all the kitchen work.

Men have killed each other in great wars, put other men on the moon, created vast architectural structures and tiny electronic circuits, and constructed complex governments in which men help other men achieve wealth, status and power. Women have done so too, of course, but their names are erased from history and their contribution ignored, belittled, downgraded or sidelined. Men have developed intricate religions, laws and courts in which, year after year, men who abuse women walk free using a variety of excuses. Are you telling me that Man, this great and complex creation, in all his genius and abusiveness and hypocrisy, is not capable of wiping a baby’s bottom?

Being a surrendered wife is dull, repetitive, unjust, unfulfilling and submissive. Obedient women don’t make history, they merely clean it and furnish it for men to inhabit, and are not credited afterwards. Never forget that surrender is the very last resort of heroes, warriors and adventurers. It is easy to be a slave because you know what your fate is: to be a slave forever. But that is no life. Women are too interesting to be hidden from the world, too intelligent to be barred from contributing in full, too witty to be silenced in public, too dynamic to be held back from the outside world and too strong to be denied.

Why You Should Beat Your Wife?

Saturday, June 22nd, 2013

Of course you shouldn’t! Okay, for the people who wait on the sidelines to pounce on our organization, one more time: NO, OF COURSE, YOU SHOULDN’T. We do not condone any sort of fetish behavior here at the Stepford Wives Organization. We do NOT even condone spanking or Christian Domestic Discipline, but we had a glance at this article from the Daily Beast (Spanking for Jesus: Inside the Unholy World of ‘Christian Domestic Discipline), and realized there were many similarities between our Organization and the folks who practice that “manly art.”

When Chelsea gets flummoxed by a question, she asks Clint for guidance in a voice so high-pitched that it belies her 28 years…

the Bible commands a husband to be the head of the household, and the wife must submit to him, in every way, or face painful chastisement.

They’re fighting (and losing) a culture war against liberalism and feminism.

“The worst thing I can do is disappoint him and I do that when I act on one of my character defects.”

Some of us occasionally get lectured by our husbands. Georgina and Sici get variations of corner time when they do something to displease their husbands, but none of our guys participate in any form of CDD. I suppose we believe it’s a little too close to physical abuse in one hand, and we vigilantly police ourselves to be well-behaved and accommodating wives at all times anyway. Before we do anything questionable, we always ask our husbands if it’s okay to do it first, and all they have to say is either “no,” or “it would displease me if you did.” And that would be the end of it. No further explanations need to be given.

Here is another line from the article:

And do men have any of these defects? Who is there to correct them? “He’s not perfect,” Vera says, “but it’s not my role to point that out. He self corrects.”

And as for what a man gets out of it, besides a woman who obeys his every command, Vera says her partner is satisfied by her growth. “He enjoys seeing the person he owns, his property, become the thing God wants her to be. It might sound weird, but that works for me.”

You can read the entire article here: Spanking for Jesus: Inside the Unholy World of ‘Christian Domestic Discipline

What Does A Stepford Wife Song Sound Like?

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

You may be wondering, is it Music for Washing and Ironing?

Perhaps you fancy some songs quoted in Mad Men, especially Astrud Gilberto’s Agua de Beber. What could be more perfect than falling in love with your washing machine?

But here is one we’ve always taken a shine to:

The Primitives’ I’ll Stick With You

Witness the great Stepford like lyrics: (Music and lyrics by Paul Court. He writes the words, she (Tracy Tracy) sings them. Just the way it should be!

Noise from the city drives me off my head
Wish you could fly away
Rain comin’ down from the sky
Colder than yesterday

I’ve seen places fall apart
Same thing with people too
Don’t wanna be here when it gets dark

Think I’ll stick with you
Think I’ll stick with you
Think I’ll stick with you

Hey
(x3)

Noise from the city drives me off my head
Wish you could fly away
Give me your hand a guiding light
I’ll do anything you say

I’ve seen places fall apart
Same thing with people too
Don’t wanna be here when it gets dark

Think I’ll stick with you
Think I’ll stick with you
Think I’ll stick with you

Hey
(x3)

Think I’ll stick with you
(repeat)

British Advice For Women: A UK Retro Image

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Look at this excellent advice piece we came across online!

Size: The Art of Being Inconsequential

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

you can't stop loving short girls

One of the stereotypes that separates women from men is our size. Now it’s not entirely possible that we possess Scalett O’Hara’s 17 inch waistline from Gone with the Wind, but we do have the magic of diminutive stature in our favour. However; in this modern day and age, it’s additionally difficult to stay small. That’s why it is supremely important that we diet constantly, eat next to nothing except vegetables, and stay as thin as we are physically able to be. Remember what Wallis Simpson famously said, “You Can Never Be Too Rich Or Too Thin.”

Scarlett O'Hara

Even though not all men like short girls, they do prefer women to be smaller than they are, regardless of their height. That is part of the pride of masculinity in being the big, protective half in the relationship.

So if you are not able to be small, nor short, remember to do the next best thing: Take Up As Little Space As You Can, whenever you are around your husband or other men in public. Draw your shoulders in; sit with your knees touching; stand with your feet criss-crossed. Take Up A Minimal Amount of Space so we can provide our men with the luxury and comfort of more space to move around in. The art of being inconsequential is transforming our bodies to match our mindsets: we have small, inconsequential thoughts, small, inconsequential concerns, and small inconsequential opinions. Just the way our men prefer us.