Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

Assemble Yourself To Your Husband’s Specifications and Needs at Stepford Wives Organization

Saturday, September 6th, 2014

Click on the picture for larger version.

Assembled to you husband's specifications at

Assembled to you husband's specifications at

Behaving Like Men Is Not Liberating and It is Not Feminine

Saturday, August 30th, 2014
behaving like men is not feminine and it is not liberating

behaving like men is not feminine and it is not liberating

Behaving the way men behave is neither a sign of success or liberation. If anything it reinforces the superiority of patriarchy as the gold standard to be emulated. Being a gentlewoman and be a feminine, obedient wife are traits that are not manly, and therefore desirable to men. Men are not interested in what other men do.

They are interested in what only women can do.

“In Front Of Every Successful Woman Should Be A Man”

Monday, July 21st, 2014

As avid followers of the evolving ideas of traditional marriage, we at The Stepford Wives Organization are constantly scouring the internet and printed book matter for ideas and new information.

We have mentioned the polygamous FLDS (Fundamental Latter Day Saints) group, purely out of interest for their anachronistic ideas of traditional marriage and their views of the man as the head-of-the-household. After all, our favorite “bible” of marriage was written by a Mormon.

Now to be clear, none of us at the organization support polygamy, and we certainly do NOT condone underage marriage or child brides in ANY form. From a purely historical historical however, legal marriageable age in 13th century England was 12 yrs old, without the consent of parents! Up till the 18th century, girls at 13 yrs old married without the consent of their parents. Girls in the American colonies married as young as 9 yrs old. So whether you agree with it or not (we don’t), legal standards are a fluid concept that keeps fluctuating with the times.

Here is a wonderful idea from the FLDS group:

If somebody says, ‘You look pretty today,’ you’re to say, ‘Well, it’s because of my husband,’ or ‘It’s because I have such a wonderful father.’ ”

All glory, she says, must be passed on to the priesthood head, or the male with the highest level of religious authority in a woman’s family.


We at The Stepford Wives Organization are delighted to give all credit to our men, even in instances where we were responsible for the praise. We see this as an additional dimension in supporting our men and placing them in a positive light. Because at the Stepford Wives Organization, we have a favorite saying: “in front of every successful woman should be a man!.

Review of Secret Lives of the Stepford Wives on Investigation Discovery

Saturday, May 10th, 2014

There are two types of people in this world: those who cheer for you and are happy when you’ve finally made it, and those who stew on the sidelines, pray for your failure and dance a schadenfreude jig when you go down in flames. That’s why supermarket checkout counter glossies and tabloids were invented in the first place. Everyday people slog through the day with mediocre lives while celebrities and tv personalities live it up to the hilt, their every move, partner, acquisition, success, appearance are captured, celebrated, photographed, and written up.

But oh what a delight and pure joy when we find their marriages torn asunder, their weight gained, their plastic surgery gone wrong…a little celebratory Roman candle somewhere inside us goes off. At least we can say: we’re not alone in our misery.

And that’s basically the reception the trope of the Stepford Wives have received since the debut of Bryan Forbes’s movie based on Ira Levin’s satire _The Stepford Wives_. “Nobody can possibly be that perfect! Somewhere, somehow, THERE MUST BE A FLAW! THERE MUST BE A DIRTY SECRET!” Otherwise how can we bear to live with our lackluster, ordinary, spotty life?

That’s where Investigation Discovery’s _Secret Lives of the Stepford Wives_ come in. Each 30 minute episode is based on a true crime story of a spotless marriage gone bad. What opens as a picture-perfect marriage of a upwardly mobile couple reveals flaws before the first commercial break. A “Stepford Wife” who is a domestic goddess eventually succumbs to madness, infidelity, financial crisis, stress, and/or an over-controlling husband. One of the two perishes by the end of each installation, living up to the show’s slogan “Perfect Life, Perfect Wife, Perfect Knife.”

Basically it’s a spinoff of Investigation Discovery’s Deadly Women tv series that first aired in 2005 and then resumed in 2008. Think of The Secret Lives of the Stepford Wives as Wives with Knives(another ID series) with cupcakes and sprinkles.

If you have to watch one episode, we recommend _Stay-At-Home Murder_ (Season 1: Episode 3). It has all the classic elements, foibles, and issues of being a true Stepford Wife: a controlling husband, a huge workload at home, keeping up appearances, cleanliness, perfection, control, sex and stress. It is the story of Houston’s hottest homemaker Susan Wright, and how things begin to fall apart. We didn’t find the series entertaining, mostly because we can bear to see things go wrong. A misstep here and there is okay, but we take no schadenfreude pleasure in seeing one of our kind go to pieces.

This doesn’t mean we battle these issues every day, but they do come up. And when they do, how we deal with them and how we make the most of the most of those pressures is why The Stepford Wives Organization and our website and this blog exists!

And yes, the creators of _The Secret Lives of the Stepford Wives_ have contacted us when they were developing the series. We declined, because our husbands said they didn’t want us or our families in the spotlight.

Look. We at the Stepford Wives Organization never said we were perfect. Our husbands write the rules. We merely live by them. It’s a blueprint, a guide. We aim for perfection in homemaking and providing comfort to our men, and when we fall short, we go back the next day and try to give more and get it right. Otherwise, we’re pretty ordinary ourselves.

Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson’s Advice on Marriage and the Good Wife

Saturday, January 4th, 2014

We don’t condone underage marriage, of course. At the same time, there was a time not so long ago where 15 wasn’t illegal. In fact, there are still many states in the U.S. (New Jersey, New Hampshire, Hawaii) where 15 yr old girls can marry with parental consent.

The controversial Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty is seen here giving playful advice. As we have said often on the Stepford Wives Organization website: men may joke around, but their desires and fears are hidden behind those jokes. Ignore the 15 yr old part, and listen to the rest of what he has to say about a good wife in the following clip. (transcript follows)

Make sure that she can cook a meal” and “make sure she carries her Bible. That’ll save you a lot of trouble down the road….and if she picks your ducks, now that’s a woman! They’re getting to where they are hard to find. Mainly because these boys are waiting till they get to be about twenty years old before they marry them. Look, you wait till they get to be twenty years old, the only picking that’s going to be taking place is your pocket. You gotta marry these girls when they’re about 15 or 16 to pick your ducks, you need to check with mom and dad of course.


The Evolution of Man and Woman

Wednesday, January 1st, 2014

Happy New Year and a great Stepford 2014 to all our readers.

Carolyn’s husband showed her this fascinating series of drawings from Italian comic illustrator Maurilio Manara (aka Milo Manara) on the evolution of Man and Woman through historical periods. She forwarded it to us, so we decided we had to share it with you. As you can see, some things change, but some things will always stay the same. Here at the Stepford Wives Organization, our edict is that we put out and serve our husbands on demand, without question, at all times. So this graphic shows that we are in good company and that our credo has been carried on for thousands of years. It suits our Stepford philosophy perfectly!


click to open up and zoom in for full resolution:

You can see more of this Italian artist’s work at his website: Milo Manara Official Website

Stepford Teen is Not Just About Clothing and Good Looks

Tuesday, August 27th, 2013

We started young. Being Stepford isn’t something you acquire overnight, and it certainly isn’t as simple as buying brand labels or identifiable clothing that will magically admit you into our “club.”

Carolyn is the avid reader in our group, and since her early teens she has been pouring over magazines, out-of-print books, advice manuals, feminist manifestos (know your opposition!), women’s and gender studies, religious tracts, the good book and relevant biblical literature, Koran, Torah, etc. She even has a ten volume collection compiled by Rulon Jeffs of the Fundamental Church of the Latter Day Saints. Cici talks with people IRL (in real life) while I (Irene) have been studying the internet in between a hectic schedule cooking for, cleaning for and general maintenance of my husband’s happiness.

We have been lagging behind our internet updates, that is true, but first things first!

Here is an article in UK’s Daily Mail Rise of the Stepford Teen: Experts warn pressure to conform will lead to a generation of clones obsessed with looks about the trend of today’s teens to conform to a uniformed look, which includes a certain way of dressing, and a certain way of making oneself up. As we have mentioned: being Stepford is not as simple as merely keeping up appearances. We put our husbands at the crown of our household. We started young by listening to and obeying our daddies. The transition from father to husband is smooth as the next man in our lives take charge and we put listening to him, obeying him, and pleasuring him our main goals in life. For the more religious among us, there is additional guidance from a male religious figure.

Yes it’s true, we need to wake up earlier to dress properly and always put our makeup on before he wakes up, but that’s just a mere ribbon in the overall Stepford package.

Getting to Thin and Staying Thin

Saturday, July 27th, 2013

NPR has an article positing that fat people becoming fatter as a result of fat discrimination. Why that’s downright silly. We have heard obesity being blamed on anything from computer time to soda, moods, weather, and even the kitchen sink, but we’ve never heard of the blame being placed on bullies.

Fat comes from eating too much and eating recklessly. Getting fat, and staying fat, should be blamed squarely on the individual. Sorry, but the first step to getting things done is to take personal responsibility, and stop blaming the world.

We at the organization stay trim with religious devotion. Why? To please our husbands, what else!? Men like thin to very thin women, and our mission is to please.

That’s not to say there hasn’t been a battle of the bulge. Georgina is very slim these days, but she gotten there by getting a firm talking to from her husband Edwin. One could say he shamed and humiliated her into a diet. And it worked! There’s nothing like a strong man at Stepford telling us what to do, and we’ve been very pleased with the results. Georgina, even Blair would be utterly devastated with gaining so much as 1 to 1.5 lbs. Just the thought of disappointment in their husbands’ faces would send them screeching off to the gym, or a quick jog around the neighborhood.

So don’t believe a word you hear. An order from the head-of-the-household is the best antidote for the muffin top.

Is The Stepford Wife the Secret to A Long Lasting Marriage (Emirates Woman Article Nov 2012)

Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Our organization – thanks to our Carolyn – got a request to write an article that was published in the Emirates Woman magazine in November 2012. It’s an interesting read because it counterpoints Carolyn’s viewpoint on the traditional wife with those of a professional career woman Bidisha, a broadcaster and writer who specializes in arts, culture, and social affairs, including gender, sexuality, and race. The referee, and compiler of the articles is Alexandria Gouveia.

This is what page 116 of the intro article looks like. Click on the photo to see a larger image of the picture.

Carolyn’s article precedes career woman Bidisha’s. If you want to read Carolyn’s complete article, click here to our page: Carolyn Snowden: The Relationship Debate

The following is Bidisha’s counterpoint article, which appears on page 120 following Carolyn’s:

“The surrendered wife deserves our sympathy,”says, Bidisha, broadcaster and writer specialising in the arts and culture and social affairs including gender, class, sexuality and race.

There is no person more boring, or bored, than a stay-at-home wife. I would recommend such a role only for women who have small brains, small hopes, small potential and small personalities. But I know no such women. What I do know is that 5,000 years of inequality, machismo, conditioning, intimidation and oppression have resulted in this strange, stunted creature – the surrendered wife – who finds some kind of sick nobility in grovelling to a man. The wretch believes that her highest virtue lies in giving the greatest attention to the smallest things: the dustpan, the oven, the crib, the sink – and the contents of her husband’s underpants.

The surrendered wife deserves our sympathy. Without realising it, she has been subjected to a deep cultural, social and political lobotomy, internalised the propaganda that says she is naturally destined for wife-work according to her innate capacities, and has emerged competent but wholly unrebellious. She is good at organising the home, judicious with her children’s upbringing, efficient about the family’s comings and goings, savagely chic when entertaining. But she is dependent for her survival – and that makes her submissive. If she doesn’t please her lord and master, she has nothing to fall back on. In order to survive, she must turn herself into a giver in the bedroom, a maid on the landing, a cook in the kitchen, a nanny in the nursery, a secretary at the desk, a housekeeper in the pantry and a hostess in the lounge. No matter what reflected status she may gain from her husband, at the core of it she herself is merely a geisha: there to serve. She exists to be exploited for her sexual, social and physical labour but, as a dependent subordinate with no power of her own, she can be bullied, hurt, disparaged or replaced whenever her owner chooses.

When a woman’s scope is reduced to the four walls of her home, her soul shrinks accordingly. Her frustration, boredom and bitterness are sublimated into obsession with petty surface details, extreme self-objectification, obsessive shopping and the bullying of staff. Because she is isolated, she doesn’t have the resources to fight the source of her oppression – that is, her husband and the entire macho ethos that keeps her in her place – and so she transfers her rage onto other women, satisfying her insecurity by making small-minded, insecure, sniping judgements. She begins to police other women’s behaviour, perhaps even her own daughters’ behaviour, punishing them if they do not conform. This is understandable and it’s what oppressed groups have always done. It is easier to lash out laterally than face the reality of oppression; easy to submit to misogynist ‘tradition’, hard to fight such entrenched views, especially when they are backed up by the threat of violence.

I believe women deserve much more than a life of service. That is not a life, it is merely an existence in which all of our resources are used up for others’ benefit. That said, the hardest and most profound free work we do – bringing up children, caring for elderly relatives, keeping communities together peacefully – should be acknowledged, honoured and credited instead of being assumed, expected, unpaid, undervalued and taken advantage of.

Instead of women judging each other, or themselves, they should judge men. We deserve to go into the world to fulfil our potential without being leered at, opposed, judged, sexually harassed, sexually assaulted, followed or abused. We deserve to be treated equally as minds and personalities, not as objects. A woman has a basic human right to be seen as a person in her own right, an individual, and not a man’s wife, someone’s daughter, someone’s mother, someone’s sister or someone’s neighbour, with all the labour and duties that entails. And when we come home unmolested from our studies, our work or visiting friends and family, we will do precisely half of the work required, and the man should do the other half. Since a man makes half a baby, he should do half the childcare. Since he makes half the dirt, he should do half the cleaning. And since he eats half the food, he should do half of all the kitchen work.

Men have killed each other in great wars, put other men on the moon, created vast architectural structures and tiny electronic circuits, and constructed complex governments in which men help other men achieve wealth, status and power. Women have done so too, of course, but their names are erased from history and their contribution ignored, belittled, downgraded or sidelined. Men have developed intricate religions, laws and courts in which, year after year, men who abuse women walk free using a variety of excuses. Are you telling me that Man, this great and complex creation, in all his genius and abusiveness and hypocrisy, is not capable of wiping a baby’s bottom?

Being a surrendered wife is dull, repetitive, unjust, unfulfilling and submissive. Obedient women don’t make history, they merely clean it and furnish it for men to inhabit, and are not credited afterwards. Never forget that surrender is the very last resort of heroes, warriors and adventurers. It is easy to be a slave because you know what your fate is: to be a slave forever. But that is no life. Women are too interesting to be hidden from the world, too intelligent to be barred from contributing in full, too witty to be silenced in public, too dynamic to be held back from the outside world and too strong to be denied.

Stepford Resolutions for a Happy New Year! The Stepford 10 Commandments

Tuesday, January 1st, 2013

Many readers of Stepford Wives Organization have asked us what they should read or websites they should visit. There is no quick solution, but if we had to summarise into simple steps we would provide the following. You can consider these the REAL Stepford Ten Commandments at the Stepford Wives Organization Website.

It is said that you have to do something 21 days in a row to turn an act into a habit, but studies have shown it is more likely three times that amount. So you may have to put your nose to the grindstone for 3 months before it becomes automatic.

1. Memorise and repeat bible phrase Peter 1 3:1 putting yourself in the first person. So,

I, a married woman, am to be submissive to my husband [subordinate myself as being secondary to and dependent on him, and adapt myself to him], so that even if he does not obey the Word [of God], he may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of a wife,

When he observes the pure and modest way in which I conduct myself, together with my reverence [for my husband; I am to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy my husband].

2. Always wake up before husband, dress in your best clothes, groom yourself and put make up on. A Stepford wife lets her husband wake up to the best image of her.

3. Always put on sexy underwear, even if you dress conservatively. A husband should be entreated to decorative underclothing whenever and wherever he decides to help himself.

4. Always speak in a little girl voice to your husband. Don’t talk to any male strangers when go out or are in the absence of your husband.

5. At least once a day, ask your husband what you should do and whatever he says, admiringly say “you’re right” or “that’s wise.”

6. Homecook 3-5 meals a day. It may be more depending upon your husband’s appetite.

7. Touch your husband at least once a day. This may be as simple as touching his arm, stroking his back, kissing him or giving him a hug. Sex for bonus points!

8. Eat little or next to nothing. Small portions of vegetables. Stay thin at all cost.

9. Always do what he tells you to with a big smile, without protest.

10. Always appear slower, or clueless around your husband. Dumbing yourself down shows you are dependent on his intelligence and fortifies his male pride.