Though we have mentioned in past entries that there isn’t a particular dress code to the Stepford housewife, we girls do cherish certain styles and symbols in our daily outfits. We start with a simple theme: "Daddy’s little girl." And we build from there.

"Daddy’s little girl" brings us back to the time of our childhood, when we are seen as unmarried little girls who were well-behaved and obedient to the male heads of our households. It also reminds us to remain pure and true to our calling as wives. As being less learned and knowledgeable as our husbands, dressing with little girl motifs also displays to our husbands that we are wives playing house in our little homes, taking care of our men. It’s a gentle reminder for them to talk simply to us when explaining the complicated matters in their world.

While wearing ribbons, bows, ruffles, and lace (only one or two at a time please and not altogether at once!) enhances our delicate side, it also establishes an appearance that takes constant work and maintenance to upkeep. These are things that show our men that we make that extra effort to appear decorative while pleasing them at all times. And they sure do appreciate that!

Above is a rundown of what we have come to view as the Betty Crocker figure in our respective times. Now it may initially appear to be a joke, but if you think about it, many things we use to do are no longer done. Just about the only events people dress up for today is Church, Marriage, and Funerals. (In that order). But we still remember the days when our moms dressed up to go shopping, to go on airplane flights, to just any form of travel.

These days, the default is to let it all hang out, “do your thing.” And we think that’s a mistake. Take a look at the 9 Betty’s above? You can pick the odd one out even without reading spectacles!

One of the questions we get asked most often is about the Stepford Wives dress code.

Guess what girls? There is none!

To seek entry into the Stepford mindframe by simply purchasing a few superficial outfits amounts to a crossdressing mentality (i.e. “If you dress the part, you become the part”), and being this close to Halloween, that’s a bit frightening. This tendency is seeing its renaissance in the Preppy look, as scores of people who have barely made it out of public high schools are clawing to gain acceptance into the trust-fund, ivy league life by a mere argyle sweater and shirts with oversized polo logos.

No. The Stepford mindframe is a spiritual attainment. You can dress any way your husband wants you to, and still serve him, or you can dress in floral prints- which by the way, was an intervention by director Bryan Forbes to hide his wife Nanette Newman’s less-than-spectacular body in 1975′s Stepford Wife – and still fail to be the little domestic goddess in pleasing your husband. For those of you who have read Ira Levin’s novel, the original Stepford Wives outfit is tight, sexy, and appeals to the male gaze. (Take a look at the woman (black and white outfit) standing behind Peter Masterson and Katharine Ross at the supermarket checkout counter in the 1975 movie: that is how the Stepford wives in Levin’s novel was suppose to dress like.

 

Bree Hodge (Van de Kamp) of Desperate Housewives is often regarded as the Stepford Wife to the new generation of tv viewers. But even though we approve of her conservative and well-turned out style, it is by no means the authoritative last word. There are no specific rules, though our rule of thumb here at the organization is that if it looks as if no average woman would have the time to put the look together, it’s a keeper!

 

For example, one of our girls, Liz has a husband who greatly enjoys air travel. Although Matthew does construction work and seldom goes on flights, he has a love of being attended to by pretty, cheery stewardesses since childhood. Before Liz met Matthew, she was on a meteoric rise to becoming a senior VP at a financial firm in downtown Manhattan. Now to please Matthew was a full time job, and Liz felt that treating her husband like a king was something that had to be performed with excellence. So, she asked Matthew’s permission to opt out with an early retirement and return to their home full time. Liz noticed that her business suits closely resembled the tailoring of stewardesses’ uniforms, especially those belonging to airlines outside of the U.S. She brought her most expensive executive skirt suits to her tailor to have the darts taken in so that the silhouette became more form fitting.

Matthew just loved the idea. He was so enchanted the first day he came home to find Liz at the door, dressed like a CEO, a power broker at a Fortune 100 company, giving him a big hug and a kiss, followed by the hanging of his jacket and kneeling down to untie his dusty work boots. Just the thought that here was a young woman – who could have been making landmark decisions on international holdings- giving up her phenomenal ascent in the business world just to make attending to his needs her #1 account, fortified his masculine pride. In Matthew’s eyes, the fact that his personal comfort and gratification was above the success of her career, the fact that his incidental happiness decimated her entire professional future, and pulled her away from the reaches of being a powerful, liberated modern woman made him feel like a man in full.

Liz’s resume now contains only one career goal, and that is the success in the business of attending to Matthew.

We girls at Stepford cooed at the thought that Matthew’s male entitlement controlled the fate of Liz’s destiny and ultimately put an end to her formidable stature in a man’s world. Where departmental officers and investment managers once did her bidding, Liz now rushes enthusiastically to Matthew’s side when he whistles for her or snaps his fingers – awaiting eagerly to carry out her biological boss’s orders. It’s a man’s right to put his wife back in the home, to empower her with the privilege to be at his beck and call. And we girls at Stepford sure do support that!

We are always looking at guidelines from different religions to adopt when it comes to being a good dutiful wife. I was browsing articles online when I came upon this page from Brigham Young University, a educational institution created by the Mormons. Here is the actual link: Honor Code Statement.

Dress and Grooming Standards

The dress and grooming of both men and women should always be modest, neat, and clean, consistent with the dignity adherent to representing The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and any of its institutions of higher education.

Modesty and cleanliness are important values that reflect personal dignity and integrity, through which students, staff, and faculty represent the principles and standards of the Church. Members of the BYU community commit themselves to observe the following standards, which reflect the direction of the Board of Trustees and the Church publication For the Strength of Youth. The Dress and Grooming Standards are as follows:
Men

Men
A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, revealing, or form fitting. Shorts must be knee-length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extreme styles or colors, and trimmed above the collar, leaving the ear uncovered. Sideburns should not extend below the earlobe or onto the cheek. If worn, moustaches should be neatly trimmed and may not extend beyond or below the corners of the mouth. Men are expected to be clean-shaven; beards are not acceptable. Earrings and other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.
Women
Women
A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, strapless, backless, or revealing; has slits above the knee; or is form fitting. Dresses, skirts, and shorts must be knee-length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extremes in styles or colors. Excessive ear piercing (more than one per ear) and all other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.

Stephanie Sinclair’s photo essay on the FLDS community for Nat Geo

Brooks Brothers 2010 bow blouse

We’ve had a few inquiries about the bow blouse and the bow that’s been such a favorite here at the organization. Not only does it hark back to the classic days of the housewife, it’s actually being revived this year by designers like Louis Vuitton for their Fall ’10 collection.

The bow of yesteryear had pointed ends, as opposed to the more modern squared tips. It’s virtually impossible to come across these, unless one goes to the “Vintage” section in Ebay, dig through Goodwill, or find an old pattern. Carolyn says it’s a snap to make your own, and she’s been gracious enough to show us how. Here it is:

Step 1. Measure
Take a clean silk or cloth ribbon (ones for gift-wrapping and crafts) and wrap it around your neck to tie a bow, making sure the ends are to your liking. Trim the ends (the shape of the ends doesn’t matter, we just want the length) and measure the length.

Step 2. Make a Construction Board (or Cardboard) Template
On a construction board-Poster board, trace a shape of bow you want as it would look, lain out on a flat surface. ADD 1/8 – 1/4 inch on the two short and one long side. The side on the fold – (i.e. the dotted A line – does not need a seam) This is for the seam allowance, depending on the material) Now, Draw that shape side-by-side on the cardboard and cut the cardboard.

Approximate pattern of the bow laid flat, side by side, since you want to fold the cloth together along dotted line A

Step 3. Lay your cloth over the cardboard template, trace onto cloth and cut.

Step 4. Fold the cloth
With the right (outside) sides together- over line A, making the mirrored shape come together into one single shape, wrong side facing out. A few steps later, you will be stitching the cloth together before pulling it inside out to hide the seams.

Step 5. Sew two pull strings, one at each “tip” of the bow.

Sew two pull strings, one at each tip of the bow, connecting both sides of the fabric. Then feed the pull string to stick out the center of the folded cloth. (You will be pulling the tips to invert to the proper side up after you sew the seams)

Step 6. Making sure the two drawstrings are accessible, and sandwiched freely inside the two sides of fabric, sew from point A to point F, leaving a opening in the middle of the long edge.

Sew 1/8 to 1/4 inch from the edge of the fabric, enclosing the short edge, the long edge, and to the end of the other short edge. This would effectively seal the fold from one end to another, With the exception of the opening.

Very important: Make sure the opening is big enough to pull an amount of fabric for half the bow from inside out. You will be using the drawstrings to bring each half of the bow out through the opening.

Step 7. Use the drawstrings and gently pull out the tips of the bow, bringing the correct side of the cloth out through the opening.

Step 8. Once tips and completely pulled through and the bow is correct fabric side facing outwars, flatten the whole piece to correct shape. Cut the drawstring at the tips, and slipstitch the opening.

Voila! Stepford Bow!

I absolutely adore this line from Ginia Bellafante’s article in the New York Times on June 1 2004 “Dressing the Post-Feminist Stepford Wife”

That the affluent homemaker’s uniform remains so compelling may have something to do with its undercurrent of eroticism, one that stems from a sense that the woman wearing it is a woman owned. ”Inside that presexual-looking girl in her lime-green twin set is that fully grown woman to whom only her husband has access,” said Eric Mendelsohn, a filmmaker, former costumer and professor of film at Columbia. ”When do these women look like fully realized sexual beings? When they are in private with their husbands.”

It should be noted that in Japanese culture, the presence of a prohibitive barrier only adds to the erotic charge. Many outsiders will view the black disk of censorship (currently pixellated screen) which is placed over the private parts in photographs as am unwelcomed nuisance. Not so for the Japanese.

That which is shielded actually adds to the erotic imagination. This makes sense when you look at the history of kimono design. To cover is to add to the sexual mystery.

In these modern times, when people go to the supermarket in Daisy dukes and a wet-t-shirt, that which is available to the imagination is a rare and precious item.

In Season 3, Episode 8′s TV’s Desperate Housewives, Gabrielle (Eva Longoria) returns to a life as a fashion model. After a 10 year hiatus, she is cast in the role of the homemaker and not the hot “IT” girl of the moment. Frustrated, she storms off and throws together her version of the “hot” mom. We girls at the organization happen to think the initial outfit they put her in (below left) is precious, and we feel that is the perfect outfit in which to serve and attend to our husbands in (Girls: Notice that DARLING RIBBON on that blouse!). In contrast, we raised our eyebrows at the “hot” mom version (below right). Frankly, it’s not appropriate, especially if guests or neighbors were to pop in.

Here is a comparison

Eva Longoria in 2 versions of the Good Wife outfit

On the other hand, if our husbands tell us they want us to wear something a little racier, as dutiful wives who’s main duty is to please our men and their expectations, we won’t hesitate to go the route below:

Eva Longoria in the husband-approved version of the Good Wife outfit

We at Stepfordwives.org / Stepfordwife.com are always on the lookout for Stepford quality gals in the media.  Of course, the gold standard being mom’s like Donna Reed and June Cleaver.  Since this tends to be a little dated, we try to seek out modern role models.  The most recent example in Hollywood is Katie Holmes, whose husband, Tom Cruise, will often forbid her to go out until he approves of her choice of outfit for the day.  Rumors also has it that her phone calls are restricted to 15 minutes a day by her husband, and that activities outside the home has to be approved first by the man of the house.

Modern liberal spin throws the term “Stepford Wife” around (whenever anyone doesn’t comform to their exact  ideas of “open-mindedness”) as  freely as conservatives use “politically correct.”  What we think here at the organization is that if a wife is happy obeying her husband and his wishes, and this domestic and private agreement leads to a peaceful marriage, then who are bystanders and outsiders to judge?

In other departments, it has come to our attention that Angela from the US Version of Rick Gervais’s The Office” has potential for being Stepford material.  In Mike Orme’s (for Stylus Magazine) description, she is a “hard-hearted tighta** who dresses in children’s clothing.”

“Children’s clothing” in this case, would be conservative, high-buttoned blouses and sweaters with bows and lace trimming, a staple of the Stepford fashion sense.  Of course, her conservative views and Christian background – albeit employed in the service of comedy – is a welcomed rarity in today’s liberal-skewed / skewered media representations of “diverse” cultures.