Posts Tagged ‘dutch wife’

Dutch Wife v.2012

Sunday, August 5th, 2012

Oh my, times sure have changed. Edwina was looking for patterns to some bolsters for her outdoor garden sofa. She asked us to help her look for designs she might consider. We entered the phrase “dutch wife” (an alternate name for a bolster) and to our surprise we didn’t exactly find photos of bolster pillows.

It makes sense that dutch wives were traditionally made for traveling husbands to keep them from loneliness. If anything, dutch wives made out of bamboo were the predecessors to Stepford Wives. They don’t complain, they are always available, and they never say no. Modern sex advice and Cosmo will tell the liberated woman to take charge, be active in bed, and get what she wants out of sex. We couldn’t agree less. We prefer the compliant position, sometimes lying motionless like dolls and marionettes, while our husbands have us their way. I know it sounds odd at first, but try it sometime. You can slowly add verbal cues and little movements upon his request. The only way to satisfy a man is to do what he wants.

What began as hyper realistic sex dolls in the form of RealDolls has become a cottage industry around the world, where men get to order their non-vocal, always complaint wives around for six to seven thousand dollars. While we feel kinship to these dolls in that we spoil our men without protest, and always give ourselves to them on demand, these dolls still can’t fulfill the apex of a woman’s true calling in life: to cook, clean, bear children, and unconditionally praise and revere their men.

We can.