Posts Tagged ‘husband’

The Price of A Happy Marriage and Phyllis Schlafly

Monday, November 29th, 2010

“With the high divorce rates of today, is a happy, lifetime marriage a realistically attainable goal?” This is the opening lines of a beautiful passage in Phyllis Schlafly’s 1977 book The Power of the Positive Woman (ISBN-13: 978-0870003738) entitled “The Price of A Happy Marriage.” Here is a book written by a sweetheart of the silent majority, arguing against the Equal Rights Amendment on the legal implications of the changes demanded by the radical feminists. Since Phyllis was and still is heavily involve in legal issues (she has a doctorate degree in law) much of the book cites historical bills, amendments, legal issues, and legal cases, there are passages on what it means to be a Positive Woman, whether one be a young, middle aged, and elderly positive woman.

The Price of A Happy Marriage is a 6 page subsection that reads like a portable, condensed version of all the great marriage books written between the late 50s and early 70s. Because this book is out of print and difficult to obtain, we are going to share a few of our favorite lines from the Happy Marriage with you. The following lines are some of sensible advice on promoting the traditional marriage as we here at the organization revere:

The Positive Woman knows that there are two main pillars of a happy marriage and that she has the capability to build both. The first is that a wife must appreciate and admire her husband. Whereas a woman’s chief emotional need is active (i.e., to love), a man’s prime emotional need is passive (i.e., to be appreciated or admired).

The Positive Woman recognizes this fundamental difference and builds her male/female relationship accordingly. She knows that this does not in any sense make her inferior, but that it is one key to personal fulfillment for both herself and her husband.

The answer is always very simple: She knows how to make him feel like a man—and to remember always that she is a woman.

A satisfying and rewarding relationship between a man and a woman can last through the years only if she is willing to give him the appreciation and the admiration his manhood craves. There are a thousand ways a woman can devise—public and private, obvious and subtle, physical and intellectual. It makes little difference how—so long as it is personal, pervasive, perennial, and genuine.

It is true (and properly so) that the husband is naturally possessive about his wife’s sexual favors, but he is seldom possessive of his wife’s mind, time, or talents….so long as he knows that he is Number One in her life, and that she needs him.

She acquired the key to her power when she erected that first pillar —admiration and appreciation of her husband as a man, as provider and protector, as the father of her children, and, yes, even as head of the household.

No other quality can do so much to ensure a happy marriage as a happy disposition.

One of the mistaken pieces of advice often given young people is “be yourself.” Maybe you are a hard-to-get-along-with person with an irritable disposition who spends the evening reciting and reliving the troubles of the day and blaming them on others. Don’t be yourself.- Be the person you would like to be—a cheerful person who sheds a little sunshine into an otherwise gloomy day, who sees the silver lining in every cloud, who keeps a sense of humor in the face of every reverse. A cheerful disposition will keep a happy marriage decades longer than a pretty face.

By the way, we stumbled upon a quotation from Comedy Central’s Ugly Americans which reminded us very much of the final Schlafly excerpt above: Here it is:

“They say people don’t change, that we are dominated by our genetic code. But you can’t hide from your faults forever. It’s probably best to just try to be the best versions of ourselves we can and not to dwell on the versions of ourselves we’d like to forget .” -Ugly Americans, Better Off Undead

The Ideal Husband and the Good Wife (update: January 21, 2010)

Thursday, January 21st, 2010

I am reading F. Carolyn Graglia’s book Domestic Tranquility. She seems to have it in for the feminists, who – in her perspective – worked hard to diminish the role of the wife and homemaker. It was written in 1998. I hope that feminists have soften a little and realize the role of a homemaker is one of many choices available to women. After all, the prize that feminists – since the days of Senecca Falls – fought for is choice. This means the freedom to chose their role in their lives, whether it be lawyer, doctor, politician, feminazi, rock and roller, pole dancer, police officer, or housewife, mother, or homemaker. Not all women want, need, or enjoy being a powerbroker with a corner office. To demand that that one occupation is superior to another (and that we should all vie for that position) is to fall into the very trap of railroading everyone into your singular vision of an ideal world. Isn’t this the very crime feminists have long accused male-run patriarchal society of committing?

We at Stepfordwives Organization believe single women should pursue their dreams and do what pleases them. However, once they enter into marriage, there’s many different roles husbands and wives could fill. None is more right than the other, and none is better or worse. These are our outlines for what we feel is an ideal husband and a good wife, according to the blue ribbon quality we at Stepford Wives Organization cherish. As you can see, everyone’s plate is full, so you better love what you do!

In order of importance, from least important trait (10) to most important (1)

The Ideal Husband

10. Escorts his wife in public.
9. Stays healthy physically and in outlook
8. Inspires hope and trust through honesty and fidelity.
7. Sets a moral example for the wife and children to respect and follow
6. Determines what his wife should do and when
5. Educates his wife and his family
4. Makes decisions regarding his wife
3. Protects his wife and his family
2. Leads his wife and his family
1. Provides for his wife and his family

The Good Wife:

11. Inspires love and understanding by yielding
10. Stays in shape and maintains a physique that pleases her husband
9. Dresses and behaves in a conservative, prim, respectable manner in public to gain respect for her husband. Dresses and behaves whichever way her husband pleases in private.
8. Is loyal to her husband, siding with him and agreeing with his views.
7. Maintains and cleans the home, picking up after the children and her husband if necessary.
6. Provides a warm, inviting haven for her husband to come home to
5. Cooks daily meals and snacks according to her husband’s wishes
4. Obeys her husband’s wishes
3. Ignites husband’s sexual drive and fulfills his appetite on demand.
2. Cherishes her role as her husband’s wife, committed and devoted to her place beside him.
1. Cherishes her husband, committed and devoted to him, making him feel loved, needed, admired, and special in her life.