Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Old Fashioned: The Christian Answer to Fifty Shades of Grey

Sunday, February 15th, 2015

The big gossip in town this weekend is the premiere of the film Fifty Shades of Grey. We at the Stepford Wives Organization have maintained our position that we are in no way associated with any BdSM culture or its community. We do attract many people from that group, but we have no affiliation or interest in its practices.

So you can imagine our excitement when we heard there was an alternate to Fifty Shades of Grey by way of a film called Old Fashioned, which is more to our pace.

The movie does market itself has “not Fifty Shades of Grey.” At this point, we would watch a Pauly Shore movie by virtue of the fact that it is “not Fifty Shades of Grey.” Instead of girl meets man with weird unconventional sexual fetishes, girl in Old Fashioned meets boy with old fashioned ideas of love and courtship.

The music in the trailer, by the way, is by Ivan Colon. We thought it sounded like another band who sometimes sings about God, Belle & Sebastian.

The Dateable Rules and ways to make yourself that “dateable” girl.

Friday, November 15th, 2013

Author Justin Lookadoo has been getting heat from the social media mob for putting his faith-based advice to boys and girls out there. We agree with most of what he has to say, but find that a good part of the advice to the girls are basically rehashed wisdom from Helen B. Andelin’s femininity bible Fascinating Womanood. For boys and men, if you want to read a definitive tome on regaining traditional manhood, our husbands suggests Helen’s husband Aubrey Andelin’s book Man of Steel.

Still Justin is a man, and whenever a man speaks, we immediately drop everything and give him our full attention, eager to agree with him and support him!

Among the ten dateable girl rules – rules that Justin believes will endear a girl to a boy, we find #1, 9 and 10 closest to Helen’s and the Stepford Wives Organization’s creed:

1. Accept your girly-ness. You’re a girl. Be proud of all that means. You are soft, you are gentle, you are a woman. Don’t try to be a guy. Guys like you because you are different from them. So let your girly-ness soar.

9. Let him lead. God made guys as leaders. Dateable girls get that and let him do guy things, get a door, open a ketchup bottle. They relax and let guys be guys. Which means they don’t ask him out!!!

10. Need him. Dateable girls know that guys need to be needed. A Dateable girl isn’t Miss Independent. She knows we are made for community. Needing each other is part of faith. She allows him to be needed at times, knowing he was called to serve just as much as she was.

from Justin’s website: R. U. Dateable

As long as there are traditionalists out there spreading the good word, there will always be detractors trying to bring them down. We are certainly no stranger to this, given the amount of disagreeable emails we receive each week. Happily we also have many supporters. So please be patient with us, as we answer all your emails one by one, while we try to update our website on a regular basis.

Don’t worry. We’re still here!

“Let’s Work It Out.”

Thursday, April 19th, 2012

For those of you who don’t have time to comb over social media, tumblr and pinterest sites (we don’t even know what half of those places are)…here is a favorite that the girls have been passing around.

Remember, nothing is that insurmountable that you can’t talk it over and work it out. As we girls in the kitchen say, “don’t let the stew go unattended!” Remember, don’t attack the problem head on and come on strong. No guy likes that. Be smooth. Be a gentlelady.

1. Suggest a neutral space. Go out and get a cup of coffee or a meal together.

2. Ease into it. Think of a memory or a happy time. Even something funny. Don’t stick to a formula, weave it in.

3. Bring it in gently for a soft landing. Touch your husband, and be honest. Say the most elegant and simplest four words:

   “Let’s work it out.”

4. Always end strong Talk about some of your concerns, but always end on a positive note. End with a reminder of why things do work for the two of you as a team. And that it’s worth it to give it another go.

YOU CAN DO IT! We know you can!


The Ideal Husband Video? Here You Go!

Friday, September 9th, 2011

Georgina, my sister Carolyn and I love this scene from one of the most memorable love stories: Claude Lelouch’s Un Homme et Une Femme (A Man and A Woman). The girl is Anouk Aimee, the sweetheart of 60s European films. And Jean-Louis Trintignant is the driver in the opening b/w scene. Pierre Barouh plays her husband in these adorable scenes of domesticity. I (Irene) consider it my favorite movie scene(s) . Just the music, the voice-overs (captioned), and the description of the ideal Husband.

The music is Brazilian Bossa Nova great Baden Powell and his Orchestra. The vocals is actually sung by the actor who plays the husband (Barouh). Enjoy!

The StepfordWife.com’s The Perfect Wife In Public Cheat Sheet

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

1950s

When a newly married wife moved into our neighborhood a few years ago, she confessed that it was an effort to do “the whole Stepford thing.” This woman – we’ll call her Rachel – was a wee bit absent-minded. But her heart was in the right place, so one of our girls decided to type something up, and print it on the size of a business card for her wallet. Yes, the print is extremely tiny, but that’s the whole point of a “cheat sheet” -something you can sneak a glance at to doublecheck whether you are doing the right thing. So we’re going to share that list with you, first on the post here, and at the bottom, one in a downloadable “plain text” format so that you can save and send to your cellphone as a text message/email, or another in a “adobe reader pdf” format that you can take to the local printer to print (on both sides) into a business card size.

We thought we covered all the bases. Except one thing. Rachel forgot where she left the cheat sheet whenever she left home!

The Stepford Wife “Perfect Wife” Cheat Sheet

Leaving Home (Alone) : Remember: Be Decorative and Appear Pleasing

  • 1. Modest makeup on properly.
  • 2. Hair is combed without a strand out of place.
  • 3. Modestly-styled clothing that matches shoes without any creases or makeup stains.
  • 4Check with husband to get his OK for your presentation (if not, go change).
  • _____________

    In Public (Alone)

  • 5. Turn cell phone or smart phone to silent. Never answer any calls except the ones from your husband. A lady is meant to be seen, not heard. Chattering on the phone makes one appear to be chit-chatting. When husband calls, answer and speak quietly and privately.
  • 6. Smile to everyone, look them in the eyes and smile when you say “Thank You” “I Beg Your Pardon” “I’m so sorry.”
  • 7. Walk upright, shoulders down, posture straight, neck stretched up.
  • 8. Use full versions of addressing everyone with courtesy (Ma’am, Miss, Sir (to older men), Mister (to younger men).
  • 9. Downcast eyes, don’t look at other men.
  • 10. Never use coarse language.
  • 11. Speak softly and not unnecessarily to male strangers.
  • 12. If you have an occasion to be helpless, use it and welcome the gesture when men try to help you. Just don’t get too friendly.
  • _____________

    In Public (With husband therefore “H” suffix) : Remember: Be Decorative and Appear Pleasing

  • 6H. Smile to your husband, look him in the eyes and smile when you say “Thank You” “I Beg Your Pardon” “I’m so sorry.”
  • 7H. Walk upright, shoulders down, posture straight, neck stretched up.
  • 8H. Yes Honey, Yes Darling, and Yes Dear” (to husband). Use full versions of addressing everyone with courtesy (Ma’am, Miss, Sir (to older men), Mister (to younger men).
  • 9H. Downcast eyes, don’t look at other men.
  • 10H. Never use coarse language.
  • 11H. If you are asked a question by a male stranger, look at your husband with an inquisitive look as to how you should answer, or better yet, let him answer the stranger. Never answer on your own.
  • 12H. If you have an occasion to be helpless, use it and welcome the gesture when your husband tries to help you. Never say “it’s okay, I can handle it.” ALWAYS accept and say graciously “thank you, I’m so glad you are here to take care of this.
  • 13H. If your husband reprimands you in public, never talk back and protest. Even if you are right, accept it with a smile, cringe sheepishly and whisper “Oh you are right, how can I be so stupid! I’m sorry dear.
  • 14H. If you meet friends in public and they suggest doing something, always look to your husband for the decision. If he says no, just thank them, apologize graciously and decline the invitation.
  • Adobe PDF printable business card (right click your mouse and select “save as”

    Plain text file (right click your mouse and select “save as”

    The Price of A Happy Marriage and Phyllis Schlafly

    Monday, November 29th, 2010

    “With the high divorce rates of today, is a happy, lifetime marriage a realistically attainable goal?” This is the opening lines of a beautiful passage in Phyllis Schlafly’s 1977 book The Power of the Positive Woman (ISBN-13: 978-0870003738) entitled “The Price of A Happy Marriage.” Here is a book written by a sweetheart of the silent majority, arguing against the Equal Rights Amendment on the legal implications of the changes demanded by the radical feminists. Since Phyllis was and still is heavily involve in legal issues (she has a doctorate degree in law) much of the book cites historical bills, amendments, legal issues, and legal cases, there are passages on what it means to be a Positive Woman, whether one be a young, middle aged, and elderly positive woman.

    The Price of A Happy Marriage is a 6 page subsection that reads like a portable, condensed version of all the great marriage books written between the late 50s and early 70s. Because this book is out of print and difficult to obtain, we are going to share a few of our favorite lines from the Happy Marriage with you. The following lines are some of sensible advice on promoting the traditional marriage as we here at the organization revere:

    The Positive Woman knows that there are two main pillars of a happy marriage and that she has the capability to build both. The first is that a wife must appreciate and admire her husband. Whereas a woman’s chief emotional need is active (i.e., to love), a man’s prime emotional need is passive (i.e., to be appreciated or admired).

    The Positive Woman recognizes this fundamental difference and builds her male/female relationship accordingly. She knows that this does not in any sense make her inferior, but that it is one key to personal fulfillment for both herself and her husband.

    The answer is always very simple: She knows how to make him feel like a man—and to remember always that she is a woman.

    A satisfying and rewarding relationship between a man and a woman can last through the years only if she is willing to give him the appreciation and the admiration his manhood craves. There are a thousand ways a woman can devise—public and private, obvious and subtle, physical and intellectual. It makes little difference how—so long as it is personal, pervasive, perennial, and genuine.

    It is true (and properly so) that the husband is naturally possessive about his wife’s sexual favors, but he is seldom possessive of his wife’s mind, time, or talents….so long as he knows that he is Number One in her life, and that she needs him.

    She acquired the key to her power when she erected that first pillar —admiration and appreciation of her husband as a man, as provider and protector, as the father of her children, and, yes, even as head of the household.

    No other quality can do so much to ensure a happy marriage as a happy disposition.

    One of the mistaken pieces of advice often given young people is “be yourself.” Maybe you are a hard-to-get-along-with person with an irritable disposition who spends the evening reciting and reliving the troubles of the day and blaming them on others. Don’t be yourself.- Be the person you would like to be—a cheerful person who sheds a little sunshine into an otherwise gloomy day, who sees the silver lining in every cloud, who keeps a sense of humor in the face of every reverse. A cheerful disposition will keep a happy marriage decades longer than a pretty face.

    By the way, we stumbled upon a quotation from Comedy Central’s Ugly Americans which reminded us very much of the final Schlafly excerpt above: Here it is:

    “They say people don’t change, that we are dominated by our genetic code. But you can’t hide from your faults forever. It’s probably best to just try to be the best versions of ourselves we can and not to dwell on the versions of ourselves we’d like to forget .” -Ugly Americans, Better Off Undead

    Stepford Wife Doormat

    Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

    stepford wife doormat.  step on me

    A few of the guys in our husbands’ club told us to get personalized doormats for our homes. We wanted to get nice floral ones, but were told we should get these instead. We thought it was a great idea since they seem, for some reason unknown to us, to be quite tickled by it. So we are looking into it! We just wished there were a pair of pretty daisies up at the corner.

    Men Take Charge, Women Get Free Passes. (update: 26, 2010)

    Thursday, August 26th, 2010

    With the most recent court ruling on Nadja Benaissa- a German Pop singer who found out she was HIV+ at 16, kept it to herself, and continued sleeping around for 12 more years – it makes me think about all the passes women get in Western society. Though the verdict is guilty, she only needs to do some community service and she’s scot free to go. Imagine had the perpetrator been a man, the sentence would most likely be harsher.

    Most men are aware of this injustice meted out against their kind. Some are just more chivalrous than others: being a good sport, they let it go and give women a pass. That’s why the less chivalrous ones call it what it is: A p***** pass.

    This asymmetry also makes me think the reason why so many women are against the notion of Stepford Wives is because they have been spoiled by the constant free passes to do and behave as they please, with zero accountability. I heard a story once, where two women in Colorado made up stories of assault on a man. After an entire summer of a community living in fear, and a life destroyed, they rescinded their accusations and said it was all made up. Again, no jail time, no fines, no consequences. So when we say, “we like giving our men extra special attention because they really deserve it for being so generous in giving us way!” women who have gotten their way all their lives feel it’s unnatural.

    If anything, we feel that it’s because men keep giving us passes, that we should spoil them that much more. I still remember a car ride I took with some career ladies one evening. We were on our way to a charity dinner and I casually mentioned, “we tend to forget that men have their fragile areas, that they also need as much care, consideration, and attention as we do.”

    I was met with a resounding “uh-uh! No way! What the $*%&$# is that all about?!!!”

    We can’t change the fact that men continue to take on responsibility, relieving us to what we do best. But what we can change is our ability to make our marriages shine and work on making a good union a great one!

    The Ideal Husband and the Good Wife (update: January 21, 2010)

    Thursday, January 21st, 2010

    I am reading F. Carolyn Graglia’s book Domestic Tranquility. She seems to have it in for the feminists, who – in her perspective – worked hard to diminish the role of the wife and homemaker. It was written in 1998. I hope that feminists have soften a little and realize the role of a homemaker is one of many choices available to women. After all, the prize that feminists – since the days of Senecca Falls – fought for is choice. This means the freedom to chose their role in their lives, whether it be lawyer, doctor, politician, feminazi, rock and roller, pole dancer, police officer, or housewife, mother, or homemaker. Not all women want, need, or enjoy being a powerbroker with a corner office. To demand that that one occupation is superior to another (and that we should all vie for that position) is to fall into the very trap of railroading everyone into your singular vision of an ideal world. Isn’t this the very crime feminists have long accused male-run patriarchal society of committing?

    We at Stepfordwives Organization believe single women should pursue their dreams and do what pleases them. However, once they enter into marriage, there’s many different roles husbands and wives could fill. None is more right than the other, and none is better or worse. These are our outlines for what we feel is an ideal husband and a good wife, according to the blue ribbon quality we at Stepford Wives Organization cherish. As you can see, everyone’s plate is full, so you better love what you do!

    In order of importance, from least important trait (10) to most important (1)

    The Ideal Husband

    10. Escorts his wife in public.
    9. Stays healthy physically and in outlook
    8. Inspires hope and trust through honesty and fidelity.
    7. Sets a moral example for the wife and children to respect and follow
    6. Determines what his wife should do and when
    5. Educates his wife and his family
    4. Makes decisions regarding his wife
    3. Protects his wife and his family
    2. Leads his wife and his family
    1. Provides for his wife and his family

    The Good Wife:

    11. Inspires love and understanding by yielding
    10. Stays in shape and maintains a physique that pleases her husband
    9. Dresses and behaves in a conservative, prim, respectable manner in public to gain respect for her husband. Dresses and behaves whichever way her husband pleases in private.
    8. Is loyal to her husband, siding with him and agreeing with his views.
    7. Maintains and cleans the home, picking up after the children and her husband if necessary.
    6. Provides a warm, inviting haven for her husband to come home to
    5. Cooks daily meals and snacks according to her husband’s wishes
    4. Obeys her husband’s wishes
    3. Ignites husband’s sexual drive and fulfills his appetite on demand.
    2. Cherishes her role as her husband’s wife, committed and devoted to her place beside him.
    1. Cherishes her husband, committed and devoted to him, making him feel loved, needed, admired, and special in her life.

    How To Be A Successful Wife (update: December 3, 2009)

    Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

    A drunkard husband spending the evening with his jovial companions at a tavern boasted that if he should take a group of his friends home with him at midnight and ask his Christian wife to get up and cook supper for them, she would do it without complaint. The crowd considered it a vain boast and dared him to try it by a considerable wager. So the drunken crowd went home with him and he made the unreasonable demands of his wife. She obeyed, dressed, came down, and prepared a very nice supper just as quickly as possible and served it as cheerfully as if she had been expecting them.

    (the above is an excerpt from Pastor Walt D Hyuck Jr.’s wonderful sermon How To Be A Successful Wife, which can be read or heard, in its entirety, at his website (click here): This Christian Journey)

    I look around and compare versions of biblical passages ( i.e. Titus 2:4 for example) as a harmless pastime. I try to find passages pertaining to marriage and wives. I can’t say I’m a devout Christian, though my father was raised Catholic, and my mother thought at a convent from the day I was born until I was 10. We eventually changed over to Protestant. I guess that’s where my comparative itch came from.

    Though Stepfordwife.com / Stepford Wives Organization is non-religious and certainly non-denominational, I thought all our readers would enjoy this wonderful sermon. If you have the time, click on the audio portion, as a voice always adds a livelier tone to the text. Even if you are an atheist, you will find plenty sensible advice in this gem.