Posts Tagged ‘modern woman’

Is The Stepford Wife the Secret to A Long Lasting Marriage (Emirates Woman Article Nov 2012)

Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Our organization – thanks to our Carolyn – got a request to write an article that was published in the Emirates Woman magazine in November 2012. It’s an interesting read because it counterpoints Carolyn’s viewpoint on the traditional wife with those of a professional career woman Bidisha, a broadcaster and writer who specializes in arts, culture, and social affairs, including gender, sexuality, and race. The referee, and compiler of the articles is Alexandria Gouveia.

This is what page 116 of the intro article looks like. Click on the photo to see a larger image of the picture.

Carolyn’s article precedes career woman Bidisha’s. If you want to read Carolyn’s complete article, click here to our page: Carolyn Snowden: The Relationship Debate

The following is Bidisha’s counterpoint article, which appears on page 120 following Carolyn’s:

“The surrendered wife deserves our sympathy,”says, Bidisha, broadcaster and writer specialising in the arts and culture and social affairs including gender, class, sexuality and race.

There is no person more boring, or bored, than a stay-at-home wife. I would recommend such a role only for women who have small brains, small hopes, small potential and small personalities. But I know no such women. What I do know is that 5,000 years of inequality, machismo, conditioning, intimidation and oppression have resulted in this strange, stunted creature – the surrendered wife – who finds some kind of sick nobility in grovelling to a man. The wretch believes that her highest virtue lies in giving the greatest attention to the smallest things: the dustpan, the oven, the crib, the sink – and the contents of her husband’s underpants.

The surrendered wife deserves our sympathy. Without realising it, she has been subjected to a deep cultural, social and political lobotomy, internalised the propaganda that says she is naturally destined for wife-work according to her innate capacities, and has emerged competent but wholly unrebellious. She is good at organising the home, judicious with her children’s upbringing, efficient about the family’s comings and goings, savagely chic when entertaining. But she is dependent for her survival – and that makes her submissive. If she doesn’t please her lord and master, she has nothing to fall back on. In order to survive, she must turn herself into a giver in the bedroom, a maid on the landing, a cook in the kitchen, a nanny in the nursery, a secretary at the desk, a housekeeper in the pantry and a hostess in the lounge. No matter what reflected status she may gain from her husband, at the core of it she herself is merely a geisha: there to serve. She exists to be exploited for her sexual, social and physical labour but, as a dependent subordinate with no power of her own, she can be bullied, hurt, disparaged or replaced whenever her owner chooses.

When a woman’s scope is reduced to the four walls of her home, her soul shrinks accordingly. Her frustration, boredom and bitterness are sublimated into obsession with petty surface details, extreme self-objectification, obsessive shopping and the bullying of staff. Because she is isolated, she doesn’t have the resources to fight the source of her oppression – that is, her husband and the entire macho ethos that keeps her in her place – and so she transfers her rage onto other women, satisfying her insecurity by making small-minded, insecure, sniping judgements. She begins to police other women’s behaviour, perhaps even her own daughters’ behaviour, punishing them if they do not conform. This is understandable and it’s what oppressed groups have always done. It is easier to lash out laterally than face the reality of oppression; easy to submit to misogynist ‘tradition’, hard to fight such entrenched views, especially when they are backed up by the threat of violence.

I believe women deserve much more than a life of service. That is not a life, it is merely an existence in which all of our resources are used up for others’ benefit. That said, the hardest and most profound free work we do – bringing up children, caring for elderly relatives, keeping communities together peacefully – should be acknowledged, honoured and credited instead of being assumed, expected, unpaid, undervalued and taken advantage of.

Instead of women judging each other, or themselves, they should judge men. We deserve to go into the world to fulfil our potential without being leered at, opposed, judged, sexually harassed, sexually assaulted, followed or abused. We deserve to be treated equally as minds and personalities, not as objects. A woman has a basic human right to be seen as a person in her own right, an individual, and not a man’s wife, someone’s daughter, someone’s mother, someone’s sister or someone’s neighbour, with all the labour and duties that entails. And when we come home unmolested from our studies, our work or visiting friends and family, we will do precisely half of the work required, and the man should do the other half. Since a man makes half a baby, he should do half the childcare. Since he makes half the dirt, he should do half the cleaning. And since he eats half the food, he should do half of all the kitchen work.

Men have killed each other in great wars, put other men on the moon, created vast architectural structures and tiny electronic circuits, and constructed complex governments in which men help other men achieve wealth, status and power. Women have done so too, of course, but their names are erased from history and their contribution ignored, belittled, downgraded or sidelined. Men have developed intricate religions, laws and courts in which, year after year, men who abuse women walk free using a variety of excuses. Are you telling me that Man, this great and complex creation, in all his genius and abusiveness and hypocrisy, is not capable of wiping a baby’s bottom?

Being a surrendered wife is dull, repetitive, unjust, unfulfilling and submissive. Obedient women don’t make history, they merely clean it and furnish it for men to inhabit, and are not credited afterwards. Never forget that surrender is the very last resort of heroes, warriors and adventurers. It is easy to be a slave because you know what your fate is: to be a slave forever. But that is no life. Women are too interesting to be hidden from the world, too intelligent to be barred from contributing in full, too witty to be silenced in public, too dynamic to be held back from the outside world and too strong to be denied.

How To Please A Modern Woman In Bed vs. How To Please A Man In Bed

Monday, December 13th, 2010


There are so many female psychologists, organizations, and female writers who seem to come up with a new study every other week. The titles are along the lines of “If it hurts, there’s something wrong”, “Women want more in the bedroom,” “Sex: Should women be more like men?”

We at the organization all are in agreement that this sort of increasingly high-maintenance “ME” attitude among Western women is succeeding in driving our men in droves towards mail-order brides and foreign, developing-country women. That’s not acceptable, as Western Civilization and our self-absorbed, narcissistic women are quickly losing grounds to overseas girls who are experts at manipulation. We believe that our product is good, and that we are the country that created the loving, faithful, godly wife in a civilized culture. It’s a shame after all that work and years of tradition, an erosion of the family beliefs, Christian commitment and sacrifice towards the interest of selfish egotistical obsession with personal happiness will erase our customs.

Wasn’t it George Bernard Shaw who once said “Those who can have good sex do, those who can’t, get together to intellectualize, theorize, and form a movement?” We believe fetching slippers and paper, cooking delicious meals, raising a family, looking after our men and being genuinely obedient (as opposed to the complex, ulterior motives of mail-order brides from third world countries ) to them is truly the path to great sex. Sometimes you can’t think too much or write a dissertation about an activity that is based on animalistic passion, pure chemistry, and physical aggression.

If you are sitting around whining about what good sex is, we are going to guess you are doing something wrong and there’s an absence of action in your bedroom.

The Lady Doth Protest Too Much: (The only people who oppose the Stepford Wife…are women)

Friday, December 10th, 2010

retro wife with husband in kitchen at stepfordwife.com

It’s no secret. We get frequent hysterical emails from readers who are horrified by what we say at Stepfordwife.com / Stepfordwives.org. It’s no surprise, in addition, that most of these offended individuals turn out to be women. Or so they say. It’s the internet, you never know! But our little secret – the one that makes us chuckle and brush the attack mail off – is this: have you ever noticed that everywhere else you come across an article denouncing the traditional wife, it’s always written by another woman?

We love reading newspaper archives from all over the world. And we never realized why our website had more British fans than American ones. After some browsing around, we found that English newspapers and magazines (and British culture) are still fascinated by the role of the wife. It’s only in the American consciousness that feminism has run rampant. While there’s nothing wrong with that, you can understand why the outrage is set at a higher cooking temperature in the U.S.

Here are two from the Daily Mail:

Honey, you’re out of date: Why men no longer want a 1950s wife written by Olinka Koster. (Notice how all the men in the comments section appear to support the traditional wife, even though the author feverishly claims otherwise?)

What women want in 2010: A husband who’ll be the main breadwinner by Beth Hale.

There’s more if you care to subscribe to Questia.com to or other online article / journal archives website.

As I’ve mentioned above, there’s really no way to tell who is who and what is what online. But we’ve pulled our resources together and actually conducted some research of our own on our friends. A few of the girls in the Stepford Group never miss an opportunity to ask real men what they think. The opportunity arises whenever we are in the company of long time friends who are men, or men who are husbands of our friends. Having known these guys for a long time, we have it on good grounds they are being honest. We’d ask something along the lines of:

“Susan and I was having a conversation the other day, and we were debating the idea of traditional roles in marriage. We seem to disagree on whether men would like the modern liberated woman or the conservative homemaking wife. So let’s see if you can help me with a man’s point of view?

Would you chose a wife who makes as much as you, can pick up and go at any time, whose idea of making wedding plans is discussing the prenuptial agreement, whose idea of dinner is “ordering out,” debates every point and topic with you, has strong opinions she will defend vigorously with Powerpoint presentations until she thoroughly and systematically dismantles your thinking through semantics, etymological deconstructionist theories, syllogistic paradoxes, and modern semiotic analyses, OR would you prefer a wife who deeply cherishes and appreciates what you do, admires you as a man, looks to you as the head of the household, and finds endless ways to attend to your needs, spoil you, and make a warm inviting home for you to return to?”

Do you want to hear their answer?

We have asked men from a wide economic range with varying educational levels. So some of the more enthusiastic responses need to be censored for improper language and imagery. In the privacy of our conversation and in the nonjudgmental atmosphere of anonymity, they all answered one and only one way.