Posts Tagged ‘Stepford Wife’

Stepford Wives Hair Length

Monday, October 10th, 2011

We girls at the organization are not devout or deeply religious, but we are involved in our local Protestant church whenever there are functions, events, bake-offs, or charitable work for the less fortunate. We do get inspiration from the good book and the events that are described in the Bible. (In fact, some of our favorite passages come from 1 Peter and Ephesians 5:22 – 5:24) You can look at some of our favorite quotes here at our official website.

Our greatest model for femininity begins with Eve. We believe that the symbolical meaning of woman being created from man’s rib is the foundation of the Stepford edict: Eve was created solely to be a helper to Adam, to keep him company so he would not be alone.

That Eve was seduced by the serpent to take that first bite, thus banishing both man and woman from the garden of Eden meant the weight of sin is on the woman’s shoulders. We were taught by the Stepford Men’s Organization that a deep sense of shame and contrition should be our identity as faithful wives to our husbands. Marriage is our second chance to do right by our men. Where Eve faltered, we will succeed.

One of our trademarks as girls of the Stepford Wives Organization is that we all have long hair. We also drew inspiration from the story of Simon of Pharisees inviting Jesus to dinner.

A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. 38 As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. Luke 7:36-7:38 NIV

It’s not often that our husbands request us to wash their feet with our hair, but the symbolic gesture of having a lengthy mane to fulfill our lord’s wishes has always been greatly appreciated. After all, we took the first bite from that apple. As women, we have figuratively lived sinful lives. Cherishing the Stepford way of pleasing our men, being a helpmeet and attentive wives to them is our way of seeking redemption.

The StepfordWife.com’s The Perfect Wife In Public Cheat Sheet

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

1950s

When a newly married wife moved into our neighborhood a few years ago, she confessed that it was an effort to do “the whole Stepford thing.” This woman – we’ll call her Rachel – was a wee bit absent-minded. But her heart was in the right place, so one of our girls decided to type something up, and print it on the size of a business card for her wallet. Yes, the print is extremely tiny, but that’s the whole point of a “cheat sheet” -something you can sneak a glance at to doublecheck whether you are doing the right thing. So we’re going to share that list with you, first on the post here, and at the bottom, one in a downloadable “plain text” format so that you can save and send to your cellphone as a text message/email, or another in a “adobe reader pdf” format that you can take to the local printer to print (on both sides) into a business card size.

We thought we covered all the bases. Except one thing. Rachel forgot where she left the cheat sheet whenever she left home!

The Stepford Wife “Perfect Wife” Cheat Sheet

Leaving Home (Alone) : Remember: Be Decorative and Appear Pleasing

  • 1. Modest makeup on properly.
  • 2. Hair is combed without a strand out of place.
  • 3. Modestly-styled clothing that matches shoes without any creases or makeup stains.
  • 4Check with husband to get his OK for your presentation (if not, go change).
  • _____________

    In Public (Alone)

  • 5. Turn cell phone or smart phone to silent. Never answer any calls except the ones from your husband. A lady is meant to be seen, not heard. Chattering on the phone makes one appear to be chit-chatting. When husband calls, answer and speak quietly and privately.
  • 6. Smile to everyone, look them in the eyes and smile when you say “Thank You” “I Beg Your Pardon” “I’m so sorry.”
  • 7. Walk upright, shoulders down, posture straight, neck stretched up.
  • 8. Use full versions of addressing everyone with courtesy (Ma’am, Miss, Sir (to older men), Mister (to younger men).
  • 9. Downcast eyes, don’t look at other men.
  • 10. Never use coarse language.
  • 11. Speak softly and not unnecessarily to male strangers.
  • 12. If you have an occasion to be helpless, use it and welcome the gesture when men try to help you. Just don’t get too friendly.
  • _____________

    In Public (With husband therefore “H” suffix) : Remember: Be Decorative and Appear Pleasing

  • 6H. Smile to your husband, look him in the eyes and smile when you say “Thank You” “I Beg Your Pardon” “I’m so sorry.”
  • 7H. Walk upright, shoulders down, posture straight, neck stretched up.
  • 8H. Yes Honey, Yes Darling, and Yes Dear” (to husband). Use full versions of addressing everyone with courtesy (Ma’am, Miss, Sir (to older men), Mister (to younger men).
  • 9H. Downcast eyes, don’t look at other men.
  • 10H. Never use coarse language.
  • 11H. If you are asked a question by a male stranger, look at your husband with an inquisitive look as to how you should answer, or better yet, let him answer the stranger. Never answer on your own.
  • 12H. If you have an occasion to be helpless, use it and welcome the gesture when your husband tries to help you. Never say “it’s okay, I can handle it.” ALWAYS accept and say graciously “thank you, I’m so glad you are here to take care of this.
  • 13H. If your husband reprimands you in public, never talk back and protest. Even if you are right, accept it with a smile, cringe sheepishly and whisper “Oh you are right, how can I be so stupid! I’m sorry dear.
  • 14H. If you meet friends in public and they suggest doing something, always look to your husband for the decision. If he says no, just thank them, apologize graciously and decline the invitation.
  • Adobe PDF printable business card (right click your mouse and select “save as”

    Plain text file (right click your mouse and select “save as”

    How To Make A Stepford Bow for your Blouse (update: July 22, 2010)

    Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

    Brooks Brothers 2010 bow blouse

    We’ve had a few inquiries about the bow blouse and the bow that’s been such a favorite here at the organization. Not only does it hark back to the classic days of the housewife, it’s actually being revived this year by designers like Louis Vuitton for their Fall ’10 collection.

    The bow of yesteryear had pointed ends, as opposed to the more modern squared tips. It’s virtually impossible to come across these, unless one goes to the “Vintage” section in Ebay, dig through Goodwill, or find an old pattern. Carolyn says it’s a snap to make your own, and she’s been gracious enough to show us how. Here it is:

    Step 1. Measure
    Take a clean silk or cloth ribbon (ones for gift-wrapping and crafts) and wrap it around your neck to tie a bow, making sure the ends are to your liking. Trim the ends (the shape of the ends doesn’t matter, we just want the length) and measure the length.

    Step 2. Make a Construction Board (or Cardboard) Template
    On a construction board-Poster board, trace a shape of bow you want as it would look, lain out on a flat surface. ADD 1/8 – 1/4 inch on the two short and one long side. The side on the fold – (i.e. the dotted A line – does not need a seam) This is for the seam allowance, depending on the material) Now, Draw that shape side-by-side on the cardboard and cut the cardboard.

    Approximate pattern of the bow laid flat, side by side, since you want to fold the cloth together along dotted line A


    Step 3. Lay your cloth over the cardboard template, trace onto cloth and cut.

    Step 4. Fold the cloth
    With the right (outside) sides together- over line A, making the mirrored shape come together into one single shape, wrong side facing out. A few steps later, you will be stitching the cloth together before pulling it inside out to hide the seams.

    Step 5. Sew two pull strings, one at each “tip” of the bow.

    Sew two pull strings, one at each tip of the bow, connecting both sides of the fabric. Then feed the pull string to stick out the center of the folded cloth. (You will be pulling the tips to invert to the proper side up after you sew the seams)

    Step 6. Making sure the two drawstrings are accessible, and sandwiched freely inside the two sides of fabric, sew from point A to point F, leaving a opening in the middle of the long edge.



    Sew 1/8 to 1/4 inch from the edge of the fabric, enclosing the short edge, the long edge, and to the end of the other short edge. This would effectively seal the fold from one end to another, With the exception of the opening.

    Very important: Make sure the opening is big enough to pull an amount of fabric for half the bow from inside out. You will be using the drawstrings to bring each half of the bow out through the opening.

    Step 7. Use the drawstrings and gently pull out the tips of the bow, bringing the correct side of the cloth out through the opening.

    Step 8. Once tips and completely pulled through and the bow is correct fabric side facing outwars, flatten the whole piece to correct shape. Cut the drawstring at the tips, and slipstitch the opening.

    Voila! Stepford Bow!

    Stepford Wife Dress Code when people are around and when they aren’t (update: July 14, 2010)

    Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

    In Season 3, Episode 8’s TV’s Desperate Housewives, Gabrielle (Eva Longoria) returns to a life as a fashion model. After a 10 year hiatus, she is cast in the role of the homemaker and not the hot “IT” girl of the moment. Frustrated, she storms off and throws together her version of the “hot” mom. We girls at the organization happen to think the initial outfit they put her in (below left) is precious, and we feel that is the perfect outfit in which to serve and attend to our husbands in (Girls: Notice that DARLING RIBBON on that blouse!). In contrast, we raised our eyebrows at the “hot” mom version (below right). Frankly, it’s not appropriate, especially if guests or neighbors were to pop in.

    Here is a comparison

    Eva Longoria in Desperate Housewives model the Stepford Wife homemaker look vs the hot wife look.
    Eva Longoria in 2 versions of the Good Wife outfit

    On the other hand, if our husbands tell us they want us to wear something a little racier, as dutiful wives who’s main duty is to please our men and their expectations, we won’t hesitate to go the route below:

    Eva Longoria in the Stepford Wife homemaker look when our husband demands it.
    Eva Longoria in the husband-approved version of the Good Wife outfit

    10 Signs you are a Stepford Wife (update: March 1, 2010)

    Monday, March 1st, 2010

    10. You think “the joy of sex” means your husband gets the most out of the experience, and it doesn’t matter whether you climax or not.

    9. There’s one fact you know with undisputed certainty: He is always right.

    8. Happiness means a sparkling kitchen and immaculate rooms throughout your home.

    7. Girltalk means sharing cooking recipes that have met with our husbands’ approval.

    6. Your son has a higher vote than you when it comes to what the family wants to do, just because he’s a man.

    5. When you go out with your husband, the only thing on your mind is how to appear as pleasing to him and as decorative as possible. You know you are meant to be seen, not heard.

    4. When you walk into your home, the first thing on your mind is, “how do I make my husband comfortable?”

    3. You lavish your husband with praise and attention, because you admire him so much.

    2. You are always in the mood, and there’s nothing he asks you to do that you won’t say no to.

    1. Your only hobby and career goal is to serve him with a smile.

    “The Art of the Wife is Fast Disappearing” (update: Jan 26, 2010)

    Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

    I am looking through my old archives and saved articles to find a piece on how women are realizing being “Stepford” isn’t really as bad as almost everyone makes it out to be.

    To my astonishment, I am seeing pages after Google pages of sites discussing our site www.stepfordwives.org. It’s flattering to say the least, but the more disturbing results lie in all the negativity towards the Stepford image. We don’t like to point fingers, but if you love staying at home, taking care of the kids and pleasing your husband – and you’re good at what you do, is there really that much you can scoff at? So much of the negativity stems from women who find it challenging to accomplish (yes, accomplish) the Stepford quality of homemaking: great cooking, a clean home, beautiful fashion sense, perfect makeup, and a happy family. Sure, we believe it requires dedicated work and precise time-management skills. To listen to our naysayers bemoan our choices, you’d think a Stepford Wife are the dregs of society. We’re often told by our husbands it’s mere jealousy. Here is an example: How To Deal With A Stepford Wife……When You’re A Lousy One.

    There’s also numerous articles claiming men want strong women, and no man would want a Stepford Wife. Curiously, all these articles are penned by women. Stop any man on the street and ask “do you prefer an over well-read intellectual who doesn’t have time to bathe or shave, but can wear the same hippie tie-dye tunic and argue with you until the take-out food arrives OR a perfect wife who keeps a sparkling clean home, cooks delicious meals, supports you in whatever you do, and treats you like a king in bed?”

    I’m embarrassed to even mention how many emails I get monthly, from guys clamoring to find out where they can meet women like the ones we talk about here at the organization.

    I didn’t manage to find my article. But here is an Op-Ed piece in yesterday’s New York Times, discussing our sister, the 1950’s wife My So-Called Wife by Sandra Tsing Loh.

    Take the “Are You A Stepford Wife Test” and see what kind of wife you are

    Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

    Here is a test we have created that we hope you will have fun taking.

    barbara bradford taylor etiquette to please him

    click on image above to take my Quizilla Test: Are You A Stepford Wife?

    Recent Stepford Wife Role Models (update: November 3, 2009)

    Monday, November 2nd, 2009

    We at Stepfordwives.org / Stepfordwife.com are always on the lookout for Stepford quality gals in the media.  Of course, the gold standard being mom’s like Donna Reed and June Cleaver.  Since this tends to be a little dated, we try to seek out modern role models.  The most recent example in Hollywood is Katie Holmes, whose husband, Tom Cruise, will often forbid her to go out until he approves of her choice of outfit for the day.  Rumors also has it that her phone calls are restricted to 15 minutes a day by her husband, and that activities outside the home has to be approved first by the man of the house.

    Modern liberal spin throws the term “Stepford Wife” around (whenever anyone doesn’t comform to their exact  ideas of “open-mindedness”) as  freely as conservatives use “politically correct.”  What we think here at the organization is that if a wife is happy obeying her husband and his wishes, and this domestic and private agreement leads to a peaceful marriage, then who are bystanders and outsiders to judge?

    In other departments, it has come to our attention that Angela from the US Version of Rick Gervais’s The Office” has potential for being Stepford material.  In Mike Orme’s (for Stylus Magazine) description, she is a “hard-hearted tighta** who dresses in children’s clothing.”

    “Children’s clothing” in this case, would be conservative, high-buttoned blouses and sweaters with bows and lace trimming, a staple of the Stepford fashion sense.  Of course, her conservative views and Christian background – albeit employed in the service of comedy – is a welcomed rarity in today’s liberal-skewed / skewered media representations of “diverse” cultures.